Get on Purpose! Part 3

Dr. Tony Zayner

While in Chicago I learned a lot about Chinese Medicine, healing, and Tai Chi Chuan from my mentor there Dr. Tony Zayner (Right). Being in college and working closely with Dr. Zayner helped me hone in on the purpose of my Tai Chi, and massage practice. I progressed in many ways and refocused my practice.

Faced with the challenge of new knowledge it made me deeply evaluate what it was that I truly believed to be the purpose of Tai Chi Chuan, and massage in relation to my Kung Fu practice. The revelations I experienced during that time, and currently experience in the Tai Chi practice continue to shape the very foundations of all that I do.

The greatest insight I had in Chicago, (although I didn't grasp its depth at the time) was the two main principles of my Tai Chi practice...

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Invest in loss, Return to the root!

I remember very clearly Dr. Zayner looking at me after receiving a Naprapathic Treatment and asking me,

"What would you do if you had to completely give up everything that you enjoy doing?" 
"If you had to stop practicing Kung Fu or any other thing for one reason or another?" 
"Is it that important to hold onto?" 
"Would you be able to live with yourself never being able to do what you passionately enjoy now?" 
"To be content with that and live a great life regardless is to Invest in loss, and Return to the root."

This talk I had with Dr. Zayner really resonated with me, and took me a long time to truly understand what he was talking about. The depth of it goes far beyond practicing Kung Fu or martial arts, it entails all of life.

Particularly during this time I was going through a very rough patch with my family. Family relationships and keeping my word was a very important thing to me, still is. Although I feel at the time my relationship was quite unbalanced. After getting married, my relationship and home life took a turn for the worst. To compound things even more I stopped receiving aid from Veterans Affairs while in Chicago.

Without money coming in and no way for me to get a job in my field at the time, I was left living out of my savings account. In a few short months because of a mixture of circumstance and poor financial decisions we were without money, lost our house and had to move to Ohio.

After about 6 months, I was finally able to get a job in Ohio. I saved up the money necessary, we got a house and after a year I was able to get my massage license. All the while we had financial troubles and stayed in a constant state of stress barely keeping afloat. 

These were hard times for me, the financial stress continued to pile on lots of problems in my relationship with my wife, family and long time friends in Ohio. I ended up falling out of my Kung Fu practice after 1 1/2 years of being back. I managed to anger and push away all of my family and friends. At the time, I simply clung to my wife, although we were highly bitter and fought with each other constantly. To make matters worse, we ran out of money again and got evicted from our house for a second time!

This time, we moved down to North Carolina. After struggling to keep my relationship together, make ends meat working various jobs, and not being able to come out ahead financially or in my relationship. I decided to seek help, I went to counseling and decided to get divorced.

The process helped me understand the depth of investing in loss and returning to the root. I found that your root is your founding principles, which may change, and it's ok to accept that... It's important to invest in loss knowing that you're not always right when you try so hard not to be wrong. It is important to know yourself, hold your ground, set your boundaries, keep your foundations intact, and adapt to changes! This was the day I learned truly what it is to "Invest in loss and return to the root." Seek principles and change when necessary.

In closing...

Hitting rock bottom helped me reveal my purpose...

To be a guide for others to find their root, and invest in loss to return to it!

To guide by investing in the way to help their cause, and assist them in deepening their root. To look past simple pursuits into a deeper form of personal development. All the while seeking a balance of ambition and non-doing!

This is the driving force in all my martial arts, massage, and business actions!

Doing, non-doing. Wei Wu Wei!